This is an area I dedicate to posting my thoughts on life, my individual journey and how I see things from time to time. I share my thoughts so those of you who visit here might benefit in some small way from my own experiences, just as I have learned so much by reading and listening to others who share with me. I continue to change, to develop who I am and how to get the most out of life. Some of it is very personal, and some of it I am sure will be ramblings of nothingness, but it is what it is, or what it will be. Ha! What the heck does that mean? Well, here goes.
Monday, 9/18 - A nice few days. Walked 8 miles across bridge and on the boardwalk with son-in-law. Lunch at best healthy place on the boardwalk. Then back for Mom, got her over ever so slowly to the boardwalk, and then I went off and walked several more blocks and along the water's edge. So very nice during a hot day. Now a tropical storm/hurricane off the coast. Hurricane Jose, but is no big deal. Took mom back over after doctor's appointment, to enjoy watching the rough surf. I realize she is not going to get "better." Not sure what is wrong, but she is barely getting along. I am accepting this. I realize I just can't push her as much as I had hoped. Will do what I can while I'm here and hope my life continues in a good way to be able to help as much as possible.
Thursday, 9/14 - NJ is beautiful in September. Here helping Mom after her knee surgery from a few months ago. Feels good to be among family. I feel like the past year in California has been a year of some sort of transition. The previous 4 years were a waste as far as relationship goes, but I did enjoy living in Florida and the beaches and water. Glad I wasn't there for Hurricane Irma, although it wasn't as bad as it could have been. As I talk to a friend from 10-12 years ago, I think about my last 10 years. I certainly have done a lot. Moved several times, several relationships where I learned more about myself, really, and work developed nicely until I moved to California, where it is a very different environment. Less pay, but more work available year 'round. Living with friends has been nice, they are like family in some ways. I am missing the black lab right now who has sort of become my best friend there. I do so very much enjoy my time to myself, but also realize I want to help people. A strong desire to be of assistance to people's health and overall wellness. So, at the moment, I'm helping my mother. It feels better when someone listens, though. Mom is stuck in the old ways of thinking or lack of understanding about health. I am realizing that may be the problem for many. The healthcare industry in this country is a mess and a lot of that is because people don't take care of themselves. That's not always the case, of course, but most of it is. But how does that change when the TV which most people watch keeps showing packaged non-nutritious foods and then medicines that do more harm than good overall. Occasionally, I do think some medications are helpful but only until the root cause of something is resolved. Fix the problem, don't just mask it and make more problems in the long run. My mother's health is deteriorating because, while she walked a lot during her life, she didn't do other exercises. Other muscles have become weaker, and while walking is good, when the body is out of alignment, joints wear down. Lack of proper nutrition causes the body to deteriorate, as well. Trying to get good nutrition into her now is difficult when she is not used to much of it, and will not follow good nutrition when I leave. At this point, I feel that just giving her mostly (not all) what she wants to appease her is probably best for her enjoyment of life. And I have the thought that since her body has deteriorated so much, healthy foods might just do too much detoxing and thus cause a healing crisis, meaning it would be too much too quickly for comfort. And if she were to feel flu-like, achy or whatever healing crisis would occur, she would resent the nutritional approach. I do realize some people can live for a long time on junk food. She is a prime example, actually. Relatively poor diet for the most part, lack of exercise, and a near constant worrying outlook on life, yet she is 86 years old. I think if she had eaten healthy and exercised more, she would easily make it to 95 or more. I also hear of other people who do nothing but eat truly junk foods and watch horrible shows on tv day after day, suffer many health ills, going to doctors, taking medicines, treatments, and do nothing to change the cycle, shunning and laughing at the suggestion to eat organic foods and get out for a walk at least. Why? Why do people choose this way of life? And why do I choose to help people? I wish to help only those who are ready for that help. And I accept that I don't have all the answers, of course. But what I have learned over the years could benefit many. While I want to keep my life simple and close in, as I don't want to be worldly and well-known, I do want to help those who want to help themselves. So, at this point, I am considering some changes. My roommates believe it is good to delve into the unhappiness/grief/despair of life at times. I guess it works for them. I, on the other hand, do not believe that is necessary. We create our life with our thoughts and feelings. While acknowledging sadness/grief/frustrations and other similar feelings, we don't have to delve into them. Okay, "I" don't have to. Acknowledge, feel for as short a time as possible, and accept/change and create what you want. I believe if we keep ourselves up most of the time, we won't have much to feel despair and grief. Accept another person's journey. It doesn't mean stick your head in the sand. It's more than that. It's knowing but accepting. Change the things you can, accept the things you can't change or choose not to change. I was so very sad and still am at times about the divorce of my daughter and son-in-law, who will always be like a son to me. I love them both so much. But they went their separate ways. It was devastating to me. Was/at times still is, the only thing that really makes me cry. But as I kept wishing for each of their happiness, and continued to do the Ho 'oponopono healing technique, my son-in-law's health has improved considerably (with a lot of effort), and my daughter is on a new path in her life. Both have others in their lives. I wish them both well and for the most part can accept and honor their journeys. Every once in awhile I feel the grief of their parting, but as both are finding enjoyment of life, I am better able to let go. It was not in my control, or the parts that were in my control are no longer, so I have to move on with my thoughts and feelings on the issue. Let life unfold as it will. I am so very grateful that both are very much a part of my life still, and hope always will be. Of course, my daughter will be always, but am so very happy my ex-son-in-law is as well. I also have thoughts that it's all pre-destined and so what does it matter anyway? Maybe just let go and let my life flow effortlessly, with whatever comes along. How much is from my thoughts? How much is from destiny? Opportunities come along and I wonder if it's a path I am "supposed" to take... What is the next chapter in my life? There are some possibilities... I will let them unfold and try not to get in the way of myself. The next couple months will tell. Do I stay or do I go? As yet, I don't know.
Sunday, 8/27 - Work has been nearly all consuming, but I did get to enjoy a wonderful party last night with some friends I hadn't seen in awhile and met new friends, played a fun game at our table, and had a great time. I am so grateful to have met these people in the past year here in California. Feels good to be a part of a community of people. Now back to work, work, work, which at least I do enjoy. Wow, it has been so very busy. And I am so grateful for the better than average of late tips that helps make up the difference in these severely cut-rate massage prices. I value myself and my craft and am glad when others do, also. Another thing of late is that just recently, my left thumb joint, which has been an issue for over 3 years now, has made a significant turn for the better. I have never had it diagnosed, but it has clicked and has felt like a ligament or tendon is stretched or out of place?! Not sure, really, even though I've tried to do such extensive research on it. Certainly, there has been inflammation, and even when I haven't moved it (when I sprained that wrist), it still did not improve. But lately - I occasionally drink a blend of herbal teas that has helped to a point, but then I started putting DoTerra essential oils on it and maybe that's what's making the difference. I have put Lemongrass essential oil on it before and it helped somewhat. Now I am using Black Pepper essential oil and Frankincense essential oil. Many times throughout each day. Is it that? I sell the oils on a website provided by DoTerra since I wanted to get the slightly discounted prices, but previously, I didn't give too much credit to the oils. Yes, they are top quality, but since nothing was really "wrong" with me, I haven't felt much difference. But wow. If my thumb joint continues to heal like this, it is huge!!!!
Or find a friend who sells DoTerra oils. I am not in it for the money, but hope to point people to the best products available for healing when I come across them.
Prayers and thoughts for the Houston area with the incredible amount of rain and other devastation from Hurricane Harvey.
Monday, 8/21 - The Eclipse!!! Not much of one here, but still a big deal. Now, to wait and see what big events are about to unfold in various areas of people's lives. One change that I am wondering about is will I move out of the area? There is not much income potential here in Ventura. Massages are so cheap and tips are often small as well. Discount massage but also discount tipping. And, not quite as much as food service employees, but massage service also relies on tips for an income. So, if I want to be able to survive, I may need to move. Will see what the future holds. I so very much enjoy what I do. But I also need to make enough money so I can continue doing what I love.
Friday, 8/18 - It was nice to enjoy a couple days away, just a little ways up the California coast, in Morro Bay. It was very chilly there! When I left, even at noon time, it was only 58 degrees! I had wanted to kayak and take a little tiki boat ride, but somehow that didn't happen. Sometimes you have to compromise with others. I guess I didn't use enough positive thinking to get what I wanted. But it was a really nice getaway, and I did enjoy some walks along the cliffs south of Morro Bay, and very nice people to talk to and good, fresh fish dinners. Now back to work and again thoroughly enjoying the ability to help people with health issues and the benefits of massage and reflexology. The eclipse is getting closer, the political world is insane, and I am wondering what changes are in store for me. Some interesting synchronicities of late, I was driving to work and listening to a download about a meditation. As the words spoken were "focus on", a Ford Focus pulled in front of me. Made me smile. When driving back from Morro Bay, I put in the CD of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. A little later I was looking at my emails, and a random email from a massage business had a heading, "Dark Side of the Moon." Crazy, right? I had thoughts of how would it be to move up north with my daughter and her b/f, thinking it might help out with their expenses, and maybe I could make a better income than I am presently able to make here in Ventura. A few hours later in the day, my daughter calls and asks if I would consider moving up there and sharing an apartment or condo with them. Well, it's definitely a thought now, for sure. While away for a couple days, I came back and found out that the house dog (belongs to one of the roommates who is no longer staying here, but we take care of him) had not been eating for the past couple days. I walked in, he was so excited (as he always is for anyone, really), and proceeded to gobble down all his food. Did he miss me? Possibly. I sure did miss him. In fact, I am hesitant to move as I love this dog so much and while the others in the house take care of him also, I feel there is a more special bond with me. Maybe because I take him for walks and am just as excited to see him as he is to see me. He is so full of love. How can one not love that dog???? I am grateful to have gotten a call from my special friend who moved from Florida to San Diego and then back to Florida. We have very different lifestyles, but I love him dearly. And I am also grateful to be away from my previous b/f of 4 years prior to moving to California. What was I thinking???? On the surface sometimes people seem so nice. But deep down, you may eventually see the racism, bitterness, and unkind ways of life. I am so grateful it didn't last. I will keep good thoughts that humanity comes together in a way that is kind and caring towards one another. Let's just see what darkness and then light the eclipse can provide in the deeper ways of life.
Saturday, 8/5 - Work, work, work. I sure wish I was paid more for what I do. I miss the income from Florida work. It may be year 'round business here, but the pay is only about half of what it was in Florida. I really like the clients I connect with, though. Great people. Just everyday regular folks..... all great people. Weather is insanely beautiful as I've grown accustomed to, but it is a little hot some days being about 10 miles inland from the ocean here. No air conditioning but I do have a nice fan. That's basically all that's needed most of the time. I've been studying more on nutrition in my spare time, learning a little bit more here and there. I do need to stay away from the political stuff since it's pretty awful right now. God only knows what the future is in this country with the lunatic(s) who are running the government right now. I heard from a good friend whom I miss, a super musician, and I am so happy for his progress and looking forward to his CD in a few months. I sure would like to go and visit sometime. Maybe next winter as Florida is always nice in the winter. Not sure where my life is headed at the moment, just taking it one day at a time mostly, except I do have a little couple day excursion planned for week after next. One thing I don't like is expectations from others and I absolutely don't like to be pressured for my time. Being at someone else's beck and call, even kindly, is not my way of life. I suppose I am just to damned independent and I can't seem to change that within myself. Okay, on the more positive, a local musician from LA who I wrote about previously is continuing his recovery and I sure do wish him a FULL and COMPLETE recovery and hope he will be even more healthy and better than ever after his rehabilitation because he is an incredible musician. I also heard from another musician friend recently, also from Florida (am I blessed to know musically inclined people??? I can hardly play a note on the guitar myself), and was so very nice to hear from him as well. So grateful for these connections in my life from the past, and glad we can continue to communicate from time to time. Much love and kindness, except possibly for my previous relationship of 4 years in Florida which I continue to say was a mistake. And I don't usually say mistake when describing my life. But I could have done without that connection. I stepped outside my box sort of thing, and trusted and shared my life with someone that had too much darkness in him. Not apparent on the outside, but in hindsight...... I wasted some time there that can't be reclaimed. Live and learn. Is important to surround oneself with decent people. Can be hell raisers and such, but there has to be a core of decency. Well, life is good now, has always been good, even when wasting my time.... So, I should say, life is better now, even though I feel like I'm in an in-between stage right now and I have no idea what's next. Just going with the flow.....
Sunday, 7/30 - A super nice week. Work is great, play is fun. Had an amazing evening listening to some incredible musicians at a small, local jazz club. Saw them a few months ago, and then a few weeks ago a few of them played. One was sorely missed, though. John Ziegler is an extremely talented and fun to watch and listen to guitarist who was raised in Philadelphia, PA, then moved to Texas, then eventually to Los Angeles. He played a few weeks ago, but a week after that had a stroke. There is a GoFundMe page set up for him for medical and living expenses as he is still in the hospital but is making some progress in recovery. I am so very hopeful he will make a full recovery and get back to playing. He is amazing, and when he plays with Danny Carey, on drums, and Doug Webb, and some of the others, it is truly an unforgettable experience. Here is a link to his GoFundMe page, if anyone could possibly contribute whatever they could, and please share it wherever you can. Am sure there are many musicians and music lovers out there:
Saturday, 7/22 - Well, it's been over a month since last update. Life is good. Not too much hiking, though. Working a lot, it seems. Have to make up for lost time and funds with NJ trip and hoping to make another trip East by end of summer. I am so grateful for wonderful clients here in California. So many interesting people. Is also good to see more people living healthy lifestyles. I suppose it's because they live here in California. Yes, is a bit of a stereotype, but I find it to be relatively true. For most people, anyway. And when I meet new clients who share their stories, I am grateful they are open to nutritional advice and mind/body advice. So much info in my head over the years that has helped me to feel great and live an enjoyable life, creating my world as I go. Most important I think is to LET GO of the things that bring you down. Just let it GO. No need for negativity, no need to focus on what does not or did not work in the past. Focus on what does work, focus on what makes you smile, and how you want things to be... that is how things change and how to create what it is you want. Focus on what you WANT, not on what you DON'T WANT. It's really that simple. If you want a healthy body, focus on how it could be to have a healthy body. By doing that, the things that create a healthy body will start to show up for you. You will be more aware, and will choose those things that will lead to a healthy body IF you keep your focus on what you WANT and imagine it that way. So, for the previous 6 months, I was very much consumed with the health of a young friend who was in very much need in many ways... emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. I did so much research on thyroid, depression, alopecia, pituitary-hypothalamic axis, and more and more and more and more. My life was pretty much on hold as this person is like a son to me. I am so happy to know he is doing so much better, hair grew back, feeling better, etc. However, there was a RX involved also to help with some of it which I was sad to see was necessary. Possibly over time it would not have been, but time was not available, really. So, with the combination of everything, though, he is doing great. I am so thankful as I can continue with my life now. I also learned about myself somewhat. Letting go of ME and focusing on someone else was good. I was challenged greatly to keep myself in good spirits and upbeat and positive throughout, and learned by paying attention to another was a big part of that. Doing for others is very therapeutic. Well, when the other person is open to it all, that is. There was another person who needed some help, but was not open to suggestions and advice, and in that case I had to step out of the picture. When someone chooses for whatever reason to self-destruct, to continue on a path of unhealthy habits in body and mind, sometimes you just have to honor their journey. It was a friend of a friend, actually. Not so involved as my friend, but wished to support both as best I could. There is a part of life where I believe we need to accept someone else's path as their own and can only offer, drop some seeds of learned wisdom. Not control what someone does with it. Let that be their choice. I am glad my good friend chose wisely and is doing so well now. I will continue to drop seeds of the knowledge I have learned for people to choose what they wish for their own journeys. It's how I learned also. I applied those seeds to my own life and now my life is flourishing nicely. I don't know what is around the corner, really. I know better things are to come. I still want to create a passive income so I have more freedom and flexibility to do the things I want to do. In one way, this is already happening and I hope it continues. Looking forward to more ways, as well. I do miss Florida life sometimes, but the weather here is so insanely beautiful, and I am enjoying work and play and friendships very much.
Sunday, 6/18 - Back from a trip to NJ, helped with my mother prior to her knee replacement. There was concern about her getting through surgery and such, being she is 86, so I wanted to spend some quality time with her prior. Well, she came through just fine and is recovering, albeit slowly, as she is older and with 2 hip replacements and unsteady/unbalanced from the knee being bad for so long. It was great to spend time with family and friends. Now back to California and working, working, working to help catch up financially. I really would like to find a way to acquire passive income. Will work on manifesting this. I've done an incredible amount of massages in just the past few days, and still feel great. Now, I would like to have some more time off to get back to hiking and enjoying the summer festivities here. A balance of work and play. Yesterday was exactly one year since I arrived here. Wow, I sure did pack a lot into one year. I feel as though I am slowing down a bit, though, but I think that's just because I am having to work so much to keep up with the necessities and small luxuries of life. Again looking forward to the passive income I will manifest somehow.
My eating habits were not that great on vacation. I tried. But family and friends don't eat the way I do... HEALTHY.... except my ex-son-in-law. We both enjoyed fish and veggies on the grill for a Sunday dinner with family, even though everyone else was having hamburgers and hot dogs. But otherwise, I did eat a bunch of brownies and pizza, a couple of pasta dishes and I think a sub one day as well. Now my body is wishing to get back to normal. Salads, green drinks, smoothies. Seems wild caught salmon is no longer available locally. I don't know the seasons for fish, and there are only a few that I like.
I caught a cold while I was in NJ. It was rainy and cold there for several days in a row, and I was FREEZING. Next thing I know, I am achy and have a runny nose that could create a river. So, I was down and out for about a day and a half, and after that was off and on stuffy for the rest of the trip. Back to normal now, though, thank goodness.
I've also had a few moments of feeling like I'm not where I should be. There's a restlessness within but I am in no position financially to be traveling anywhere and so I don't know what it's all about. It's just here and there, though, not a constant. Will just have to be patient with myself and see what the Universe has in store for me.
Saturday, 5/27 - Remembering my Grandmother, who passed many years ago, but today would be her birthday.... Meanwhile, enjoying time with my brother, sister-in-law, (ex)-son-in-law, and my Mom prior to her knee surgery in a couple weeks. Hoping for the best. Praying for the best outcome. Nice to be on the East Coast for a bit. This may be the area I grew up in, but it doesn't feel like where I "belong." Is there such a place? Within, I suppose that could be anywhere. Enjoying wherever I am.
Wednesday, 5/24 - It's a long way across country. Amazing how we can just hop on a plane and hours later be so far away. Good to be with family for awhile.
Monday, 5/22 - Enjoyed a very nice Saturday night out.... Hope for a repeat when I return from my trip to NJ. Still drinking the herbal tea and healing more. I may have another business to go into... Add to that the book I would truly like to get out of me, and my future will be a little more settled.
Friday, 5/19/17 - So I've learned a few things..... as I continue learning and learning and learning..... I'm reading this book, Medical Medium, by Anthony William (who is the medical medium). He states certain things which are hard to put my head around, but all his suggestions are good, so okay. One of the things he states, though, is that eggs are not necessarily that good for certain people. I did not agree. I love eggs, eat eggs nearly every day, is a quick, economical, healthy food. However, I have felt that I have dealt with some "auto-immune" type symptoms, certain aches and pains fairly often, not serious, but something I keep wondering "why," and so that is one of the areas in which he states to not consume eggs. One day a couple weeks ago, I had two (usually I only have one and only at breakfast) eggs for lunch. After a busy work day, which I've done many busy workdays, that night, I woke up with the worst aches and pains throughout my body, as if I had been hit with a truck. Really bad. I took some magnesium, and some other anti-inflammatory herbs I had, and was able to go back to sleep, felt better in the morning. But what had caused that???? I thought back to the day before, and the ONLY thing I had done different was I had two eggs at lunch. Could it possibly be true? I didn't want to admit I had been wrong (really hate when I am wrong).... Well, how do I figure this out? How about not having any eggs for awhile and see what happens. Since those certain mild aches and pains were nearly every day, I wondered how long it would take. Within a couple days of no eggs, I realized I had no aches and pains AT ALL. That was a couple weeks ago. No eggs since and I feel great. OMG!!!! He is right!!! Damn!!! I didn't want it to be true. But then again, is nice to know. So, I've eliminated those wonderful eggs from my eating habits.
One more thing. My left thumb joint at the base of my hand had been injured from trying to fix a hose connection 3 years ago. Has been an issue since then, although it healed to a certain extent with various supplements, bone broth and such. But still some issues with it, and am always trying things to make it heal completely- various topical lotions, essential oils (lemongrass is pretty good), but nothing makes it go away completely or permanently. I decided to look up some herbs and see what's good for inflammation. I found that a combination of Chapparel (not tasty), Yucca Root, Self Heal, Poke root, Horsetail (shavegrass), along with some Milk Thistle seed, and Echinacea, and some Marshmallow Leaf, are good for arthritic/rheumatoid arthritis types of inflammation. There may have been one or two others, will have to check on that. I combined these (actually Marshmallow Leaf is for other things, but the flavor is really nice), making a big batch, and started drinking it throughout the day. By the second day, I noticed my thumb joint was less tender. So, for the past week or so, I've been drinking this tea most days. Even though I use that thumb joint a lot with massage and reflexology, I truly have experienced much less pain. How far will this tea take it? I am hopeful if I try not to use it so much (have a 2 1/2 week vacation in NJ where maybe it will have a break), it will heal completely. All those herbs are healthy anyway, so I'll drink the tea for a few weeks then take a break from it. Maybe switch it up with some other anti-inflammatory herbs or simplify and just have a combo of two of them. My human body as my experiment.
Also took the leap and cut my hair. I take iodine from time to time, was taking it a lot for the last couple years and feel that has helped with energy, endurance, no more fatigue, and my hair is so darn thick I have to thin it out quite a bit. I really feel the iodine has been the reason. It healed my sore toe that nothing else was capable of doing, and I don't seem to need those naps anymore, as well, since taking iodine. But I also feel that too much isn't good, either. Just the right amount. So, I take iodine occasionally now. No real schedule. I don't like to take most things everyday anyway. Just when my body needs stuff. So, shorter and hopefully a little bit thinner hair for the summer. Still tweaking the thinning myself after a decent haircut.
I've also been eating a LOT more salad with salmon or some chicken lately, and it feels so much healthier to do this. I make a nice salad dressing out of olive oil and apple cider vinegar, sometimes with honey added for that bit of sweetness I like. Also good to add cut up dates, tangerines, pumpkin seeds and other nuts, seeds and fruits to a regular lettuce, tomato, carrot, cucumber type salad. It feels good to feel good.
Looking forward to my trip next week to see family and friends. The Jersey Shore is a happening place in the beginning of summer. It's the part of South Jersey I enjoyed so much. Will be good to experience it again before heading back home and working a lot to catch up on all my travels of the past year. Life is good.
Sunday, 4/30 - Another beautiful day in Southern California. I don't really think of this area as "Southern" as it's 3 hours from the southern border, but is also 10 hours from the northern border, so I guess it is technically Southern California. Several new clients this past week, along with some whom I've seen before, so is good to see my clientele build with more opportunities, as well. Nancy and I are working on a workshop to start, with many workshops to come. Half-day retreats to explore various topics, starting and ending with some yoga and crystal bowls meditation. My first topic will be reflexology. Of course. It is my passion. So much healing can occur with the help of reflexology. If people would do reflexology either as a treatment (by me or someone else) and also as maintenance at home on themselves, their health would strengthen and there would be much less health issues occurring. And there are plenty more topics to cover that can assist in our journey through life.
Monday, 4/24 - Was a good week, nothing "special," but was good, nonetheless. Awesome clients. Really love what I do. I try not to push myself too hard, only doing about 4 massages per day at the most, sometimes I do end up doing 5 or 6, but realize that is too much. But sometimes, 4 is so easy, and I feel like I could actually do more. Don't want to push myself and get burned out, though. I want to keep on loving what I do. Things in the works; it just takes time and motivation.... MOTIVATION..... I must work on my "I Am" statements to get ahold of that thing called "motivation." One day last week, I was listening to the audible book on Abundance thinking or something like that. So, it pumped me up a bit, and wow, the tips I got that day were amazing. I was so very, very grateful. I did receive abundance. Just by listening and feeling it. Thank you to those clients who were generous and expressed their own gratitude in tipping. Since I don't get much compensation for massages anymore (life is different in California), I must (as wait staff do) depend on tips to earn any semblance of income. It (a decent income) will happen eventually. Meanwhile, I work on learning as much as I can put my mind to about nutrition and improving massage techniques and learning about other health oriented topics that come my way. Am grateful when their health improves. As mine does. Improvement and then maintenance to keep on track to enjoy life as it unfolds. Weather here is insanely beautiful yet again. Maybe I don't feel settled here, but I sure am enjoying the weather!!! But in a month, I will be heading back East to spend time with Mom and family as she gets ready for a surgery. Praying all works out well enough. I don't seem to keep to a work schedule as something always comes up and tears me away from work. This is one reason as to why I need to create a better income somehow. Because life gets in the way of working sometimes. There must be balance. One of the things I do to work on balance, is when I'm commuting to work and back, or basically, whenever I am in the car now, I listen to the comedy stations on Pandora. Some of the comedians, especially Jim Gaffigan and Brian Regan.... and others, but those two especially crack me up. My stomach hurt from laughing and I had tears while waiting for the light to change last night. If someone saw me, I don't know what they would have thought. Glad it was dark out. I was hysterical. That sure does lift one's spirits!!!! Laughing is great medicine. And when you feel good, then good things come your way. Right now, listening to a Gregg Braden interview. His wisdom is amazing. He teaches the power of thought, feeling and emotion. Amazing stuff. It's how "IT" works...... the world.... our lives..... when you know, then you do what you can to create what you want. Which is one of the reasons I listen to comedy.
Wed, 4/19 - 20 years ago today I was married. We are divorced now, for past 12 years, but we are still friends. Life is long and then it's short. I wish someday to be able to be "married" for 20 years, but just have not come across that right partner for me for that to happen. Is okay. I enjoy my life. If I live to be 120, then I can be married at 100 and still reach that goal. Hahahaha.... So, it continues to happen. I think of someone and they contact me. Has happened with two people in the last few days. Is one of those magical things that is really just how the world works. What you think, you get. I think of someone, they get in touch. Actually, come to think of it, this happened 3 times in the past few days. And then other synchronicities as well. My daughter and her ex-hubby (who I love like my own son), were both at their doctors at the same time, similar issues, and contacted me at the same time. I do believe they are soulmates, even though they are no longer together. I think a soulmate is someone who helps you to grow, not always a permanent physical connection, but always a permanent consciousness connection. I sure wish they were still together, but I don't seem to be able to manifest that. I will keep trying, though. Years ago, what I thought my life path would be was something slightly different than what it is now. I'm still happy and at peace within, but there is an unsettledness at the same time. The only thing I can do is "allow"... life to evolve. Keep my thoughts and feelings in a good place and allow life to flow to match that. I admit there are times I get a little down. I think, is this what it's all about? Is this it? But I also know it's an incredibly amazingly beautiful world full of wonder and life and love and enjoyment. It's right here. And I am grateful. Eat right, get rest, move my body..... and let the world come to me. Through me. Travel with me. And just let it be.
Tuesday, 4/18 - A bit of rain this morning, nice. Soon the dry season will be upon us here in Southern California. It's so beautiful here. Still not sure I belong here, but am enjoying it, nonetheless. Not sure where I "belong" if there is such a "place." A few days off from massage. Since I will be heading East next month for a bit, I don't want to search out more work at any other locations, as I had been looking briefly before. I am starting to realize I don't like to settle down into any type of routine. Not sure what that's all about. I think I would like a nice, simple life with "routine," yet, it seems I fight it at the same time. Hmmmm.... Need to get out of "myself" and onto something new. Will be busy with work in a couple days and then taking a CPR class next week in preparation for a NJ massage license, just in case I will be there for any length of time taking care of my mom. If not, the CPR class is good to take anyway.
Monday, 4/17 - What a nice Easter weekend, spent up in Monterey, CA, visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Learned some about the area, and was impressed with how good the food was for a touristy place. I love having adventures in my life and creating new memories to reflect upon as life goes on. I suppose that's why I enjoy life so much. Living in the now is great as I add to the history of my life's journey, enjoying looking back while I'm enjoying the present. Is that possible? Yes. It's all good. Now have a few days off to rest and catch up with reading, research, and recharging my internal batteries. I know in about a month things are going to be a little different as I will be taking a trip to the East Coast to spend with family. So, I reflect on the wonderful past I've enjoyed, while having a lot of gratitude for the present moment, and looking forward to future events with the family. Hoping the enjoyment of the past and present continue to create enjoyment for the future. If there are any goals to be had, that's my goal. I got through the 10 day stretch of work, was actually only 8 all total as one day in the middle ended up being a day off and I shortened it all by a day as well to go away for the weekend. Which means I have to work as much as possible for the next several weeks, really, so I can afford to do the family trip. Knowing there's more of a year 'round income here in California, even if it's less money for more work, helps to feel less stressed about finances overall. Just do your job, enjoy what you do, and all necessities will be provided. I am grateful for my life right now. Comfortable and content. Peaceful.
Sunday, 4/9 - What a nice morning, and late day of work was okay, too. Looking forward to new adventures.
Friday, 4/7 - A very looooong work day, with amazing clients. I truly love what I do. Am very grateful. Tired, but grateful. The political world is insane at the moment, with half-truths (lies) all over the place. Nothing new there. Just packaged differently. I pray kindness, peace, a society that learns to help each other out. I pray these things. It's all I can do since I can't control the government people. I still save the mosquito hawks that keep flying in the house... it's the least I can do. Now, I guess, in a different way, I'm insane. I rather like my insanity..... it doesn't hurt anyone. (smile)
Wednesday, 4/5 - Will be working for the next 10 days, with half being extremely long days. I can do this... I can do this... I can do this........
Sunday, 4/2 - It's beautiful in California! What amazingly gorgeous weather! I work later in the day so I get to enjoy mornings and early afternoons with blue skies, green grass and trees, beautiful blooms, birds chirping, while I research and learn and try my best to remember what I'm learning. Just another example of how powerful our thoughts are, or whatever is happening, I am not sure. But yesterday, I was going to do a quick April Fool's joke on my friend, meaning I was going to go up to her, exclaim there was a spider on her arm, and pretend to brush it off, then say, April Fool's and glad to get that out of the way. Well, instead, since she was preparing for a client and was slightly stressed, I thought I'd better not do that right now. So, I go outside and sit in the sun, and within about a minute, I notice a spider on the sleeve of my sweatshirt!!!! OMG!!! I brushed it off, and thought to myself, geez, I really have to watch what I think!!!! It happens!!!! Now, if I would just think about that lottery ticket that I never seem to buy.....
Tuesday, 3/27 - Lately, I haven't been able to keep up with everything. I am realizing a couple decades too late, that it's best to focus on a few subjects in life, get really good at them, and feel more confident. No, I had to be interested in everything and anything and all, and now I find I can't remember it all, can't keep up, and am a jack of all trades and a master of none. Oh well. It's my journey. Next lifetime I will try to focus on just a few things. But by then, we probably will have figured out this organ called the brain, and have it mastered so we CAN remember everything.
Friday, 3/24 - Thank you to the person who suggested I check out this doctor and his messages... This has a lot of good info about health, mainly about thyroid and adrenals... He is amazing.... https://youtu.be/F1rxW9IzYrA
Wednesday, 3/22 - What a busy few weeks! Company was wonderful, tried to fit so much in. My ex-son-in-law was visiting, who will forever be a part of my family, my son from another mother. He is a most wonderful person, and I was able to show him the fun of living here in California in many ways - hiking, and more hiking, the mountains, the beach, jazz club (what an amazing night that was!), movies, museum, and more. As much as I wanted him to find work in this area, he is looking at other areas in the country, or wherever the right job takes him. I am trying to keep my spirits up, but I am so very sad he headed home today. But he must get on with his life, and I must get back to a normal routine, myself. But what fun we had!!! Now, it's time to really get back to work, as much as I possibly can handle, so I can fly back to New Jersey for some visits with my mother who may be having an operation soon. On a sad note, one of my half-brothers, whom I had not been in touch with, passed away last week at only 56 years old. Sad that we did not reconnect after many years. Our lives did cross paths over 20 years ago. Is quite a shock to me when I realize how much time has passed. I'm 58 now, almost 59. I can hardly believe it. As much as I wish I was settled by now, there's so much more life to experience and so I will just continue my journey, calmly, allowing life to flow in a direction that keeps me positive, enjoying whatever comes my way. We create with our thoughts and feelings, and so I have to keep mine up, up, up. As I reflect on experiences, I am in awe of the incredibly crazy, fun synchronicities that have been happening. Too many, but as I was remembering this and that, and also as some occurred while my company was here, the realization hit that I need to keep a record of these happenings so I can include them in a book of some sort. They are truly magical..... On another note, I realize that some people are not really in touch with who they are. They say they are like this or that, but when spending time together, it is obvious they are not like that at all. It's kind of disappointing as there's a sense of trust in believing what someone says, but then it's not really their fault. I am sure many of us imagine ourselves to be one way when we truly are not. I think I am patient, but then I show my impatience at times, for example, and then I realize I'm not after all. Best thing is to just accept people for however they are, without expectations. Then there are no disappointments. I'm looking forward to working, studying nutrition, more massage techniques, more reflexology for training purposes, and doing some writing, as well as keeping up with some exercising also. I have to keep in shape in order to keep up with a busy work schedule. Life is good. It has its ups and downs, but Life truly is good, with lots of love and kindness and connecting with people in a way that helps them enjoy life to the fullest, as well.
Saturday, 3/4 - Has been another nice week, enjoyed a few days off and went hiking with a friend I hadn't seen for several months. Was sooooo good to get out hiking again!!! Work was a little slower than last week, but just as fulfilling. Wonderful new clients I have met.... There really are so many amazing people. I am so grateful for these connections.
Wednesday, 2/22 - Has been a fulfilling work week with wonderful clients. I so very much appreciate. I'm working much more and harder for less income, but it's the clients that make up the difference. I am grateful. Rain, rain and more rain. Wow. I prayed Rain as Gregg Braden has stated, and now California may be headed out of drought status. Makes me feel powerful. haha.... I can manifest things in my life, but that's truly a biggie. Not sure I had anything to do with it, but am grateful for the rain for now. But it can stop as I have company coming to visit soon and want to do some hiking and sightseeing on my days off. Learning more and more about nutrition and illnesses, and wish so much that I had a degree in the subject so I could share on a larger scale. Somehow I must manifest a way to get certain information out to the masses. There's so much that people just don't know!!!
Wednesday, 2/15 - More hiking and yoga in San Fran area and then back home again. I was stressing about work and found that I had not put myself on the schedule after all and so had more days off. That's what happens when you stress that you have too much... you end up with not enough. Back to work with just one day off today. Was amazing. Went hiking with a group, lunch and then attended a lecture at a local museum, a local author talked about his travels. Turns out he even knew the town I'm originally from on the east coast. Was funny, and interesting, and especially since I had no idea at all what it would be about. Afterwards, I enjoyed the small museum and then walked back to the car, several blocks away and up a hill. By then I knew I'd had a good workout. Glad to get the exercise. Met a couple new people in the group, and was good to see some others I hadn't seen in almost 3 months! Can't believe it's been that long since the last outing with the group. Where does the time go??? It seems like it was maybe 3 weeks ago, not three months!!! A lot has happened, actually. A lot. Not for here to divulge. So, now I need to focus on work.... Have a LOT of catching up to do with the budget. Thankfully, I love my work. And tomorrow is especially busy, so that's it for now.
Sunday, 1/29 - Enjoying San Francisco area .... A beautiful city, really. And hiking and yoga.... I feel a little like I'm at boot camp. Very sore today from some more intense yoga a couple days ago, and about a 6 or so mile hike with quite a bit of elevation. Was beautiful! But my legs are sore!
I wonder where life will take me next. Am thinking maybe Colorado? Ventura is not very satisfying with massage business. The prices are ridiculously low (good for the consumer) and I feel my massage services are not valued. I would prefer nicer surroundings, more pleasant massage rooms, at least. Lugging my supplies here and there is cumbersome and takes away from the energy and ability to provide ultimate service. The outdoors, hiking and all of that is nice.... but my work is important to me.... Although I am grateful for the work I have, but the work environments need improvement and it's not in my control.
Someone I am so grateful to be in contact with has had me thinking of other areas.... How about Colorado? I loved living there in the past..... It's a thriving area.... I will give it some thought....
Tuesday, 1/24 - Time again is flying by. Canceled trip to Florida and instead I'm visiting in the San Francisco area for a week or so. Part of the 5 1/2 hour drive up was so pretty... the twisted mulberry trees against the lush green hills when the sun was bright against the continuing rain, creating a most beautiful rainbow right outside the passenger window!!! I have never seen a rainbow so close!! Then clouds and more rain.... Looks like we may have some sun now for a few days, though. While here, I'm researching some possible jobs.... I wonder if I should move up here for awhile.
On another note, I am ever so grateful for a most wonderful phone call today. There has been one subject that has brought me to tears, a falling away of a friendship that meant so much to me, that had been very difficult for me to deal with, and this one phone call made so much difference. I am so very grateful. I feel so much love.
Tuesday, 1/17 - Eating healthy and getting enough rest gave me a bit of motivation to get some things done, get a bit more organized, and feel a little more positive. Yes, I have my down moments, just not as much as most people. I listened to some Stuart Wilde seminars and seems each time I do, I get something more out of it. He was quite a "teacher" of life. I don't agree with everything, but I still learn things to incorporate into my mind/heart to cope with the ups and downs of life. Was a very nice day today, only two massages, and then a little time to enjoy the downtown area. A day off tomorrow but the weather is going to change to some rain, much needed in this area after 5 years of drought. Seems my "pray rain" has been working. Hahaha... That's a bit egotistical. As if I have power. lol.... BUT.... it has been raining more of late..... (smile)..... Am sure it's going to be a beautiful Spring season here in a couple months. Everyone talks about how pretty it is in the Spring. I thought the summer was pretty! But everyone said I haven't seen anything yet. Something to look forward to...
Sunday, 1/15 - One thing is for sure. I do enjoy the work I do. I enjoy doing massage and reflexology to help people feel better. With this new presidential thing going on, there may be detrimental changes in healthcare. I sure do wish people would take more responsibility for their own health. After work the other night, I went to the grocery store. It was a coop type store with bulk items and cheaper prices. There was very little for me to choose from as far as anything healthy. Mostly packaged foods. Just a very few organic or non-gmo items. No wonder people are sick, tired, and unable to live quality lives. If only I could help people.... teach them how to do reflexology to improve their body's functioning, and teach them how to eat healthy. Quality food for nourishment, not quantity food that makes them full but sick, creating foggy brains, lethargy. Teach people to take responsibility for themselves and for their families.
I'm planning on a quick trip back to Florida, but finding no place to stay except a hotel, it's going to be too expensive to stay very long. Then in a few months, maybe another trip and stay for a couple months possibly. I was actually hoping to stay this time around for a couple months, but unless I can find accommodations, that won't be happening. I'm leaving it up to the Universe that if it's meant to be, something will come up. And if not, then back to Cali to continue working as much as possible to replenish 5 months off work and Christmas spending.
Saturday, 1/14/17 - Life has so many little paths, roadways, highways! I sure do wish I had a crystal ball and could see into the future. The holidays were great, spent with family all together for Christmas for the first time since..... I don't know.... maybe since we were all teenagers.... We were together 6 years ago for my mother's 80th birthday, but for Christmas, I just can't remember.... Weather was good, travel was easy, even with flying across country during the holidays. Now, we're into the New Year. I am feeling discombobulated. It's chilly here in California, and work is not the same as it was in Florida. Working twice as hard for half the income. How did that happen??? I seriously do not know what to do. Keeping my vibration up is challenging. I have so many tools in my toolbox, and I've been using them. They do work. I am so grateful for the wonderful world I live in... I just don't know what path to take. Soon, another adventure.... I have ideas.... Meanwhile, one day at a time... With faith that what is best for me will be clear....
Thursday, 12/8 - What a wonderful long weekend! Saturday through Tuesday was amazing. I realize it's something I want, but unfortunately, it won't happen. Well, maybe someday. For whatever reason, I have to keep positive. Whatever matches my frequency will be what is right so long as I stay positive. Let the sadness go. I've been listening to Stuart Wilde, 33 Steps... Is good stuff. A lot to do with Tao te Ching. Is 5 hours long, and if he read it slower it would be even longer! I have already listened to it more than once.
Friday, 12/1/16 - Time is flying by.... This is a busy month, as it usually is with holiday season. I am not quite settled yet... Haha... am I ever??? Well, going away for a long weekend, then possibly a busy hiking day, then busy with work for a few days. I'm hopeful to start working at a new place that is like a dream as it's where I feel my skills can be utilized very well for the benefit of the clients' wellbeing and for the facility's success. But it's only a very part-time position, so my other places of business will have to suffice for the time being. I will continue to have faith that better things are in the works for my life purpose. Later, more traveling for the holiday will be in order to spend time with family. That is definitely long overdue. After that, I am looking forward to getting down to business and working as much as possible. Might sound crazy, but I really do enjoy my work. Especially the Reflexology part and mind-body-spirit awareness to help people enjoy life to the fullest.
Tuesday, 11/29/16 - It's magical, yet it's merely the natural workings of the Universe, that collective energy that we are all a part of, whether we know it or not, when those fun synchronicities occur. I am keeping my fingers crossed.... hoping the vibe is a match. It certainly is as far as coming into my awareness.... I looked back on the wording throughout my website here, written here and there several years back. I'm amazed at how much time has passed. It's certainly a journey of many paths. I enjoy my varied life, never knowing what's around the corner. My passion is Reflexology for health and the power of the mind/spirit to create the best journey possible for myself and others who share in this worldly experience. How best to go about that? I left Florida so I could connect with like-minded people so my passion for health and well-being could be shared further. I was stuck in Florida with many (not all - I surely do miss my clients!!!!) who did not care and mocked a healthy lifestyle. I knew I had to move on, even though I also understood how I manifested that in the first place. Gratitude for the people I know and am surrounded by here in California. I continue to meet more and more people like myself; those who wish to enjoy life in a healthy, fun-filled way, improving their own lives and those around them.... I am grateful.
Friday, November 25, 2016 - Day after Thanksgiving. I've been working for about a month now, just a few hours here and there, looking for a location where my skills can best be utilized. I am passionate about Reflexology and would love to see people who can benefit from these treatments. Massage is great, too, but I believe in the healing benefits of Reflexology the most. Meanwhile, a bit of holiday activities here on the home front, with a huge feast and company yesterday, and delicious leftovers for the time being. Hoping for some more hikes and walks, and looking forward to smoothies and juicing to be sure to stay in the same dress size! Oh my!
Friday, 10/21/16 - Been an interesting month. More hiking, beach walks and outings most often with a very kind friend, always enjoyed! And finally did some more kayaking after my sprained wrist healed up enough. My California massage certification finally came through and I will be working at a chiropractor's office very part time, and hopefully another place soon, as well. Looking forward to getting back into the work force. I've been taking some time to study the Ho 'Oponopono healing technique. Last December or January was about when I first heard of this, and have been applying the little I've known about it from time to time with amazing results. So, I'm delving further into it to grasp it more fully and hopefully be able teach it to others. It has to do with cleansing yourself, and thus, other people/situations change around you by doing so. I've also started learning how to play guitar, which will be a very slow process. My sprained wrist has healed up pretty well, with just some stiffness left and a sore thumb joint which was a problem before anyway. Will continue to work on that thumb.... Now, back to my studies of Oponopono.....
Sunday, 9/25/16 - It's been an amazing month.... Wonderful friends, exploring the western parts of California, Oregon coast, and more. Hiking, sharing, kindness and caring. And a sprained wrist which has slowed me down a bit, but I am still waiting to receive the California massage license before I can start working again anyway. I also had laryngitis and a cough for a week or so as well. Between that and the very painful sprained wrist during travels, expectations of me were a bit more than what I could handle. Am hopeful with the healing, certain aspects of life will get back on track. There is one thing that I know of myself. If there are expectations of me, I will resist them. Possibly comes from having such an independent nature. A bit of a heat wave here in California for a few days. Today was a lazy, hazy day at home, reading, talking, sharing thoughts and life experiences that shape us, and further discussions of the connectedness to a deeper consciousness. I love my family here. Love them completely and unconditionally, accepting each for the beings they are.... Lovingkindness to all.
Saturday, 8/20/16 - Time off for summer, for moving, for starting a new life. I'm still me on the inside, but the outside environment is very different. Every aspect of my life has changed. The happiness within is the same, and with this recent move I am enjoying life much more, doing what I want to do in such a beautiful setting of coastal California. I believe my thoughts and feelings have created my new life... or is it all along - destiny? If it's destiny, then I must be psychic, as I think and feel what I want and next thing I know, it's here. Sometimes faster than I was even expecting. I am continuing to eat healthy, and getting much more outdoor exercise now as the weather here is phenomenal. So much gratitude for my ability to follow what feels right, my gut feelings, finally. I'm grateful for the strength within to correct areas of my life that were not in alignment with who I am. I feel I'm on the right path now, from which I had strayed the past few years.